I Am Here To Stay

I dont know if I will lose you someday and I don't dare to know how it feels. There is always this little voice at the back of my head that says you're going to walk away, and by the time you do, I will not be prepared. And its going to hurt. Really bad. So I try to prepare myself for the worst, but I know, if or when the day comes, I will never be fully prepared. Losing you is one thing, coping with the change is another. Not seeing you for more than five hours agitates me, imagine a lifetime. I dare not think about it. I say things I don't mean, you say things you don't mean. Thats what happens. It scares me to think that one day, I might not get to feel your heartbeat, or hold your hand, or even have you smiling at me, the way you smiled at me yesterday, the way you will smile at me today, and hopefully, tomorrow and forever.