Devastated

The moment of truth. Today passed by in a blur and the extremely hot weather didnt help make anything better. The 21st of April. Today opened my eyes. I'm nothing special, not now, at least. My best friend managed to cheer me up though.

"When I didn't get into my choice of University last year, my friend said Sebab tu rukun iman ada percaya pada Qada' dan Qadar. Rezeki kita lain lain, best believe He knows better."

No word or expression can describe this fucked up feeling but on a brighter note, I'll be leaving for Penang Island this weekend with my friends. Hopefully this will take my mind off things, even if its just for the weekend. A million of people can comfort you and say tons of comforting words, but the worst feeling that you could ever possibly feel is not just disappointing your parents but being disappointed in yourself. Feeling like you're not good enough. Its not that I didn't try my best, I swear I did but apparently, as always, my best isn't good enough. Ya Allah, only He knows how devastated I am.